A Sizeable Gap
by Goddess-of-the-Night04
Summary: SLASH. Harry has a relationship with someone, but he can't tell his friends. Not yet. Will he ever be able to tell them?


Note: This is a one shot idea I had. I don't plan on continuing it in any way, but that may change.  
Disclaimer: They aren't mine. I wish they were, but they're not. I make no money from this either, sadly. Just entertainment.

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"Harry, you have to meet this guys; he's perfect for you!" Hermione tells him one night her and Ron are over for dinner

"You know I don't like you guys setting me up on dates," He says

"But you're not going out and finding yourself anyone, are you?" Hermione asks

And here she's wrong; he _has _found someone on his own, but he's not about to tell them that. Not yet.

"Did you ever consider that I was happy how I am right now?"

"Well…yes…you're happy, we can see that, but we're trying to find someone for you"

"You told us you want to have a family," Ron speaks up for the first time, "and we're just trying to help you find that. You're not getting any younger"

"I'm only 20!"

"Right, but life moves so fast, Harry, and you need to start finding someone," Hermione says

"I'm not you guys, all ready for marriage. I'm just not. I can wait a good many more years before I'll want to settle down"

"But…" Ron tries, but Harry interrupts him

"No. Listen, I really appreciate you guys looking out for me and wanting to find someone for me, and I'm sure whoever he is is a great guy. Just…I don't need it right now, and I'm sorry, but I will not meet him"

And that's all the further it was discussed. Harry relaxes in front of his fireplace, reading a book and sipping a glass of whiskey after his friends have gone. He appreciates them trying to help him, he really does, and it's not like he can stop them without telling them the truth. The truth is simply not an option yet. They'll be angry when he tells them, if only because he's waited so long, but it has to be done.

His thoughts unconsciously drift from the book to his lover. He thinks about the conversations they have, pictures the man's face, how intense his eyes become when they discuss something he's passionate about, or when they have sex. Oh, the sex! It's like Heaven in a bed and an experience he's never quite had with anyone else.

His lover's quite a bit older than him, which is one of the problems with telling his friends. His friends know about his preference for older men, of course, but this is a stretch even for him. 20 years is a long time. Just think about it: wizards, typically, only live to be about 115-years-old, and at that age, 20 years doesn't seem like such a big deal. But that's 20 years he would be living without him.

Harry sighs, thinking – not for the first time – that he's a complete fool for ever thinking this was a good idea. He hates his feelings and his inability to control them. Why couldn't his lover even be five years younger? Somehow that would make it better. Acceptable.

But none of this changes the fact that he _is _pursuing this or the fact that his lover is witty, intelligent, experienced, and even sweet at times. Harry bites the nail of his pointer finger while beaming an idiotic smile. So lost in thought is he that he doesn't notice when said distraction enters the room.

"Stop biting your nail," The man says kindly, approaching Harry

"You know I can't help it"

"I know," he leans down and kisses him before straightening out and walking to the cabinet for a glass of whiskey

"How was your day?" Harry places a finger in his book to mark his spot as he watches the man

"Horrible, as usual; these kids obviously are unable to listen to anything I have to say"

"Severus…" Harry reprimands

"We both know how much I loath this class"

"Well any class after mine has to look horrible by comparison," Harry grins as Severus comes over to sit next to him on the couch and he puts his book on the table

He snorts, "You were the worst class in a very long time!"

"We weren't all bad"

"No, I suppose not," he looks Harry in the eye, "I guess you turned out to be alright"

Harry beams in response, causing Severus' mouth to twitch, "And you turned out to not be so greasy"

"Oh shut it," He mumbles before leaning forward and kissing him hard on the mouth, consuming him

And this is the major problem: the fact that his lover is Severus Snape, evil bat extraordinaire and plague of more lives than can be counted. _This _is why Harry can't tell his friends yet, because having a relationship with your former teacher, much less a hated one, comes with a lot of scrutiny that he's not ready to deal with. They've been together nearly a year, and there's no sign of slowing down. Harry knew Severus was in it for the long haul, and Harry was ready for that. It's getting to the time to tell his friends, he just can't bring himself to do it yet.

"How does that never get old?" Harry asks once the kiss ends

"Because you love kissing me"

"Mmmm," he nods, "that must be it"

Harry leans in and kisses him again, less needy this time and more emotional. As they break apart, they both drink from their forgotten glasses.

"So how was dinner? Did they try to set you up with another young stud?" Severus smiles

"Of course, it's their favorite pastime"

"Did you tell them you've been looking for a hot piece of man meat?"

Harry laughs, "Severus, can you not refer to things like that?"

Severus smiles, "Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No, because you know you've got more than enough man meat to satisfy me"

"Is that so?" He asks as he places his empty cup on the coffee table before leaning in to whisper in Harry's ear, "shall we test that theory?"

"Please," Harry whispers

Harry's glass falls to the floor as it slips out of his hand, splashing liquid on the carpet. They'll clean the mess up later…in fact, they'll be cleaning an even bigger mess up with it if the loud moan is anything to judge by.

Two months later, a week after their one year anniversary (spent in an expensive restaurant, followed by a bubble bath and then a bed), Severus walks in to Harry's flat unexpectedly.

"Severus!" Harry says, shocked by his presence, but not unhappy. They usually only see each other on weekends since they both have obligations during the week – Harry with University and Severus with teaching. "What are you doing here?"

"Am I interrupting your studying?"

Harry puts the book he was reading and the paper he was taking notes with off to the side on the coffee table

"Not really; what's up?"

"Nothing," he says unconvincingly as he sits next to Harry on the couch

"Something is bothering you. What is it?" Harry asks as he combs a hand through the other's hair

Severus sighs, leaning into the touch, "Just a rough day. A very rough day"

"The kids again?"

"No"

Harry can tell he's not being told the whole story, that it goes deeper than he could guess, and he wants to know so he can help him.

Harry moves closer to him, moving his hand to the older man's left cheek. He looks searchingly into his eyes, pleadingly, "Severus, what is it?"

Severus seems to search for something in the green eyes, then looks down quickly before meeting the gaze once more, "I told Minerva today"

"About us?"

"No, about my loathing for my students; _yes _about us"

Harry breathes in, "How'd she react?"

"Poorly," he says dryly, as though it should have been obvious. "She asked me why I haven't given as many detentions this year and why I'm more social. I told her it was because I was seeing someone. She was so happy, and then she asked who it was, but when I told her it was you, her look just…changed"

"How so?"

"Her eyes narrowed and then she asked me if it had gone on while you were a student. She outright asked me if I had buggered a student!"

"But you didn't! I hadn't been your student for nearly three years!"

"I told her that, and she just kept saying that it was weird, not natural"

Harry feels his heart ache, because both of them considered Minerva to be the mother or grandmother they never really had. He moves so that he's straddling his lover's legs, arms wrapped around his neck and playing with his hair.

"We knew this would be difficult for people to accept," Harry kisses his left cheek

"I know"

"We knew we would be criticized," he kisses his right cheek

"I know"

"This doesn't change how I feel about you," he kisses the closed eyelid of his left eye

"But…"

"I love you, Severus Snape. I _love _you," he kisses his right eyelid

"I love you, Harry," he claims the younger man's mouth with his own hungrily, needing to feel him

They hold on to each other, nearly grasping, neither wanting to let go. This is why they had to wait to tell people: because they had to know what they had could withstand the scrutiny.

"I don't care what they say," Severus whispers

"How can you not care?" Harry honestly asks

"Because you are the best thing that's happened to me, and if the few people in my life I care about can't see how happy you make me and be okay with that, then I don't need them"

"I'm scared that Ron and Hermione will walk out on me"

"They're your best friends, it's okay to worry about losing them"

"I think it's time to tell them. I mean, not tonight, but soon"

"No matter how it turns out, know I'll still be here"

Harry kisses Severus desperately, trying to hold back his tears from realizing that their fears of not being accepted are coming true. He knows Severus is hurt by Minerva's shunning of their relationship, so he thinks of a way to take his mind off of it.

"Stay with me tonight," Harry whispers against Severus' neck

"I can't," he denies sadly

"Please stay with me. Apparate in tomorrow morning"

"It's not wise," he says less convincingly. He wants nothing more than to stay with Harry tonight, but they both have work to do

Harry lightly kisses the spot on Severus' neck that he knows makes him weak before whispering, "Love me tonight"

Severus groans and pulls Harry's head up so he can kiss him, "I can't wait until I can love you every night"

Harry melts at the words…the promise, "Yes" he moans

But they settle for just one night at a time. For now it's enough.

The following Friday, Harry invites Ron and Hermione over for dinner again. He's determined to tell them about his relationship with their former teacher and he hopes it'll go well, though he doubts it will. Severus knows the plan, and he's ready to come over the second Harry should need him.

"So what's this big news?" Ron asks

"Yeah, do we finally get to know who the man is?" Hermione asks

Harry's jaw drops, "How'd you know I'm seeing someone?"

"We're not blind, Harry, we can see how much happier you've been," she says

"Then why have you been trying to set me up on dates?"

"Because we wanted to see if you'd tell us if we kept bugging you," Ron says

"Oh," is all he can say

"So who is he?" Hermione urges, a giddy smile on her face

"Promise you won't be mad?"

"We promise"

"You're going to be mad," Harry insists

"We just said we wouldn't be mad, now tell us," Ron teases good naturedly

Harry takes a breath, his heart pounding, and he's pretty sure he's shaking, as well. Now or never, they're set up for it. Just say it, Harry. Now! They won't hate you, just _tell them_.

"It's Snape," he says, looking at the ground. When he hears nothing in response, he fearfully glances up at his friends

Their mouths are hanging open, and then Ron begins to laugh

"That's a good one, mate, but who is it really?"

"Ron…I don't think it was a joke," Hermione says

Ron's face falls before he asks, "Really?"

"Yes," Harry says

"But…he was our teacher," Hermione says, sounding scandalized

"And he was horrible to us!" Ron adds

"He's so much older than you"

"And he's creepy!"

"I told you you guys would be mad," Harry blushes

"We're not mad," Hermione says as Ron says, "Of _course _we're mad!"

"It's a shock," Hermione says

"It's _Snape_"

"I know it's difficult to understand and accept, but he makes me really happy"

"How?" Ron asks

"His personality…plus he treats me really well"

"How long has this been going on?" Hermione asks. At least she seems like she's trying to get past the fact her best friend is in a relationship with their ex-teacher

"A little over a year"

"And you hadn't told us before now?" Ron asks

"Because I knew you'd act like this!" Harry says indignantly, "I had to know the relationship was going somewhere before I suffered through this"

"You shouldn't feel like you're suffering," Hermione honestly looks remorseful

"You're scrutinizing what makes me happier than anything else. How am I not supposed to suffer?"

"Harry, we still love you…but this is going to take time. It's not a small thing to take in," she reasons

"I know," Harry says, looking at the ground again

"What is with you and this obsession with teachers? First there was your crush on Lupin, and now Snape?"

"It's not an obsession…"

"It's disgusting! You can't love him," Ron says

"What?" Harry asks, truly confused

"You can't…he's creepy! He's old! He's horribly mean; you just can't love him"

"I can and I do! He's amazing to me and is sweeter than you could imagine. It's not like he tricked me into this relationship: I chose him. I chose to be with him and I fell in love with him"

"Why him?" Ron asks

Harry looks up into Ron's eyes exasperatedly, not believing he actually asked that

"Why Hermione?" Harry counters

"That's different"

"No, it's not. You can't explain fully why you love someone, or why you love that specific person, so how can you ask me to define it?"

"Because it's Snape!"

"And I love him"

"I can't listen to this…" Ron says, standing up

"Ron," Hermione starts, "we can't just walk out like this"

"Yes we can, because I don't want to hear this anymore"

Ron walks to the door and Hermione slowly gets up out of her chair to join him. As she passes Harry on the couch, she places a hand on his shoulder and whispers, "I'm sorry, Harry"

When she gets no response besides a nod, she adds, "We'll talk to you later"

And his best friends are gone. It had gone just about as bad as he had imagined, but at least they said they'd stay in touch and Ron hadn't punched him in the face. That's a plus.

He puts his face in his hands and groans. Their words were harsh – or more specifically: _Ron's _words were harsh. How could he say who he was able to love? Harry couldn't even control it himself! He was being completely unfair.

Harry gets up and fire-calls his lover, "Severus?"

"Yes, Harry, I'm here," he comes into view

He takes a deep breath, trying to hold back tears, "Are you busy?"

"You must be joking. I'll be right there"

Harry goes and sits on his couch once more, shaking slightly from emotion. When Severus walks in, he immediately pulls the younger man into his arms.

"You're shaking…what did they do to you?" He sounds a mixture of concerned and angry

"They took it badly"

"I can see that"

"They said I can't be in a relationship with you because you were our teacher"

"They don't know anything," Severus kisses Harry's face as tears begin to fall

Harry takes a shaky breath and looks his lover in the eye, "You know I love you?"

Severus looks confused before saying, "Yes"

"And you believe I love you?"

"Yes," he says with conviction, not missing a beat

"Then how can they tell me I don't?"

"They haven't seen us together; they can't judge us…this," he grabs Harry's hand and interlaces their fingers

"They seem to think they can"

"Harry," he looks him in the eye, "You love me and I love you. Don't question that; I don't, and I'm a very untrusting person"

"I'm sorry I love you"

"Don't ever be sorry for making me happy"

Severus kisses Harry, letting him feel all his emotions through their kiss. He wants to make him believe that what they have isn't wrong; make him see how he thought before telling his judgmental friends about their relationship. What sorts of friends shun someone for loving who they love? As far as Severus is concerned, they're better off moving away and finding new people to become friends with who won't judge them so harshly. If it weren't for the fact that Harry was still in University and that, contrary to popular belief, Severus actually loves teaching at Hogwarts, he would suggest they do just that.

"They'll come around," Severus says

"I know"

"And they'll accept us like Minerva has"

"I know"

"Because they care about you"

"I know," Harry is mostly composed again, but he still needs the proximity with Severus

"I love you, you know that?"

Harry smiles, "I know"

"Would you believe I love you more today than I did yesterday?"

Harry gives him a curious look, "What?"

"Every time I see you I love you a little more than the last time I laid eyes on you"

"You're such a liar," Harry laughs

Severus smiles, "I am not"

"Since when did you become so romantic? Your multiple years of students would have a collective fit"

"Well let them all die of heart attacks for all I care, because I'll still have you. Why would you even ask when I became romantic? I had to woo you, didn't I?"

"You didn't need to woo me"

"Like you were going to date the man you remember teaching you? _That _man? I don't think so"

"And your romantic stint just keeps getting worse and worse by the day?"

"Like a disease," he affirms with a smirk

"Why don't you show me where it hurts?" he grins mischievously

"Oh that's easy," Severus moves his hand to hold Harry's wrist and moves it down to his clothed erection while saying, "It's right here"

"Oh that _is _a big problem, let's see if we can't find a treatment"

"And if I don't want to be cured?"

"Don't worry; we'll just remove the symptom, not the cause"

Severus growls and kisses the man he loves hungrily. No one has ever made him so animalistic before, and he relishes the feeling. Harry just makes him feel so much more than he ever thought was possible.

"Let's go see what we can do about this," Severus says as he stands up and offers his hand to Harry

Harry smiles and grabs the offered hand to stand. He leans up and kisses Severus heatedly before pulling him to the bedroom.

Later that night, lying in the double bed intertwined, the pair simply stares at each other.

"I understand what you meant when you said you don't care what anyone thinks," Harry says

"Did that finally sink in?" he smiles

"Yes, jerk"

Harry kisses him to stop Severus' smile, "We'll be okay," the older man says

"Yes we will, even if we have to move and make completely new friends"

Severus looks at him, wondering how his thought from earlier tonight came out of his lover's mouth.

"Maybe some day, but not yet," Severus says

They lay in silence again, but Severus can see the wheels turning in Harry's head and sees the question in his eyes.

"What is it?" Severus asks

"Do you think we'll ever be accepted?"

"There will always be opposition, but we won't ever be alone, I don't think"

"So you think we'll always have someone?"

"We have Minerva," Severus points out, "She's someone"

"In that case: damn the rest"

"You don't mean that," Severus says, thinking about Ron and Hermione

Harry looks at him seriously for half of a minute before he finally says, "Yes, I do"

Severus kisses him tenderly, "You're an idiot"

"And you love me"

"Even more than earlier tonight"

"Really?" Harry asks with a mock-serious look on his face

"Yes"

Harry smirks with an evil glint in his eye. He leans forward and whispers in the older man's ear: "Show me"

And Severus did. Twice.


End file.
